coffeebreak chapel

A friend of mine posted this for me, asking me my thoughts (maybe since I am married, maybe since I am an idealist-yet-realist-romantic).

Read the article above. Think it over. These are my thoughts.

I totally agree with what Barbara Dafoe Whitehead says. And I agree with what Heather says:
“Just like some notion of sexual compatibility isn’t the basis for marriage, neither is some notion of soul or personality compatibility. Both are components within marriage, but not the foundation. Dave loves me in an honest, Christ-like, faithful way, and as a result of that love knows me better than anyone. The notion of ‘soul mate’ doesn’t capture that.”

I think that the idea of someone being your soulmate suggests that you two were made for each other, the universe (or Fate or God) has brought you together, and because you are so drawn together, you are meant to stay together. If you don’t stay together, then you aren’t soul mates, and you should go find your “actual” soul mate.

The problem I have with this idea is that eliminates the need for personal responsibility, commitment, and sacrificial love. All of these are absolutely essential for marriage.

Tom and I have talked about the subject of soul mates. We do think that we were brought together by God, but not that we were forced upon each other by some spiritual magnetism. We were best friends who loved each other platonically, and that love eventually turned into romantic love, which has turned into marital love. 
We were compatible, so we became friends. We were friends, so we loved each other selflessly, like friends do. And we just also happened to be very attracted to each other. All of these components are what brought us to get married. Each step was a choice, and even though we are married now, we still need to love each other—and by that I mean choose to love each other in our thoughts and actions—daily.

What do you think?